It is the middle of the night and sleep again has flown.  I was looking for my poems and still have not found them.  That is rather worrisome, but I know they are here somewhere.  I did find something wonderful, though.  I found a couple of file folders.  One was full of old letters from friends and family all the way back to the 60’s.  Another had a bunch of my early writings.  In one of them I found a poem of my mother’s.  She wrote a lot of them, but this is my absolute favorite.

Everything Changes

I am old.

I say the words

And know that they are true.

But I don’t remember them.

I feel the same as yesterday

And forty years ago.

Somehow I cling to youth

Without a conscious effort.

And, then I see my own reflection

In a stranger’s eyes.

I’m still a bit surprised

To find the marks of time

Upon my face.

And harder still to count the ghosts

Of family and friends now gone.

Everything changes.

The girls who envied me

The men who loved me

Are dead and gone.

I have outlived them all.

No one remembers now that once

I was the prettiest girl in town.

My beauty, too, is gone

And once it meant so much.

Everything changes.

And with each change we close a door

Knowing we can never again

Cross its threshold.

But for every door that closes

Somewhere ahead another opens.

And life goes on.

After snows have melted

From barren trees and dead brown lawns

The gay, young daffodil

Will raise its head

And little sprigs of green

Show us that there will always be

A new beginning.

And so I face tomorrow


I fill my time

With memories, bright and clear

Colored by the warmth of love.

Without impatience, I await

The bright new dawn,

For it may bring to me

My new beginning

For everything changes.

Penny Mathews

I wish she could see the new beginning of her grandchildren….

Back to wrestle with my sometimes enemy. ..sleep.

Michael  11/2/1999