It is the middle of the night and sleep again has flown. I was looking for my poems and still have not found them. That is rather worrisome, but I know they are here somewhere. I did find something wonderful, though. I found a couple of file folders. One was full of old letters from friends and family all the way back to the 60’s. Another had a bunch of my early writings. In one of them I found a poem of my mother’s. She wrote a lot of them, but this is my absolute favorite.
Everything Changes
I am old.
I say the words
And know that they are true.
But I don’t remember them.
I feel the same as yesterday
And forty years ago.
Somehow I cling to youth
Without a conscious effort.
And, then I see my own reflection
In a stranger’s eyes.
I’m still a bit surprised
To find the marks of time
Upon my face.
And harder still to count the ghosts
Of family and friends now gone.
Everything changes.
The girls who envied me
The men who loved me
Are dead and gone.
I have outlived them all.
No one remembers now that once
I was the prettiest girl in town.
My beauty, too, is gone
And once it meant so much.
Everything changes.
And with each change we close a door
Knowing we can never again
Cross its threshold.
But for every door that closes
Somewhere ahead another opens.
And life goes on.
After snows have melted
From barren trees and dead brown lawns
The gay, young daffodil
Will raise its head
And little sprigs of green
Show us that there will always be
A new beginning.
And so I face tomorrow
Unafraid.
I fill my time
With memories, bright and clear
Colored by the warmth of love.
Without impatience, I await
The bright new dawn,
For it may bring to me
My new beginning
For everything changes.
Penny Mathews
I wish she could see the new beginning of her grandchildren….
Back to wrestle with my sometimes enemy. ..sleep.
Michael 11/2/1999
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