A Ring Tone for Traci
Squandering time
This morning when I need to be working
But the desire just isn’t there
So let’s play
How I got to ring tones
I don’t know
But I began looking to for custom
Ring tones
For different people
Funny songs, old songs
Whatever seemed to fit
Then I thought of the girls
And started with my youngest
Who is struggling
With so many things
I, who have made so many wrong turns
Understand more than she will ever know
Sometimes it is hard to find the place
Where you fit
Where you can shine
And in the search
There are lots of bumps and bruises
Oh, hell
Bumps and bruises don’t even start
To describe
The pain and longing
The why’s and when’s
Interspaced between the joys and giggles
That sometimes seem so far between
Learning to live with your choices
Sometimes seeming like none of them
Were the right ones
And that no one else
Understands
Ah, but I digress from ring tones
A ring tone for Traci
No song immediately came to mind
Though I thought about some to do
With monsters
Not cruelly, but after her nickname
A nickname given with pride and amusement
Little Monster
But none pleased me
So I searched the music library for Traci
Then Tracy
And up pops Tracy Chapman
And Fast Car
Damnit! $#%^damnit!
I started to cry
As the words came to me
And what the song was about
“You got a fast car
I want a ticket to anywhere
Maybe we make a deal
Maybe together we can get somewhere
Any place is better
Starting from zero got nothing to lose
Maybe we’ll make something
Me myself I got nothing to prove”
I remember when the song was new
And the words wrapped around me
To pull and tug
I remember thinking
Anywhere but here
Anything but this
Something has to happen; something has to change
Oh, but this was about ring tones
Choosing a ring tone for Traci
I want just the right one
Just like I want all the right things for her
I don’t want the hard times
Where she is embedded
I want joy for her
I want to hear her mischievous teasing voice
And her laughter
I want her to sleep at night
Without concern about the dawn
And what the next day will bring
For now I can only hope
For her
Hope for the best
And for now
Fast Car will be her ring tone
I just hope
It doesn’t make me cry
When she calls
Michael Mathews
Nov 20, 2010
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