A Ring Tone for Traci

Squandering time

This morning when I need to be working

But the desire just isn’t there

So let’s play

How I got to ring tones

I don’t know

But I began looking to for custom

Ring tones

For different people

Funny songs, old songs

Whatever seemed to fit

Then I thought of the girls

And started with my youngest

Who is struggling

With so many things

I, who have made so many wrong turns

Understand more than she will ever know

Sometimes it is hard to find the place

Where you fit

Where you can shine

And in the search

There are lots of bumps and bruises

Oh, hell

Bumps and bruises don’t even start

To describe

The pain and longing

The why’s and when’s

Interspaced between the joys and giggles

That sometimes seem so far between

Learning to live with your choices

Sometimes seeming like none of them

Were the right ones

And that no one else


Ah, but I digress from ring tones

A ring tone for Traci

No song immediately came to mind

Though I thought about some to do

With monsters

Not cruelly, but after her nickname

A nickname given with pride and amusement

Little Monster

But none pleased me

So I searched the music library for Traci

Then Tracy

And up pops Tracy Chapman

And Fast Car

Damnit!  $#%^damnit!

I started to cry

As the words came to me

And what the song was about

“You got a fast car

I want a ticket to anywhere

Maybe we make a deal

Maybe together we can get somewhere

Any place is better

Starting from zero got nothing to lose

Maybe we’ll make something

Me myself I got nothing to prove”

I remember when the song was new

And the words wrapped around me

To pull and tug

I remember thinking

Anywhere but here

Anything but this

Something has to happen; something has to change

Oh, but this was about ring tones

Choosing a ring tone for Traci

I want just the right one

Just like I want all the right things for her

I don’t want the hard times

Where she is embedded

I want joy for her

I want to hear her mischievous teasing voice

And her laughter

I want her to sleep at night

Without concern about the dawn

And what the next day will bring

For now I can only hope

For her

Hope for the best

And for now

Fast Car will be her ring tone

I just hope

It doesn’t make me cry

When she calls

Michael Mathews
Nov 20, 2010
12:10 PM