I Used to Pray There Was Indeed a Devil

I used to pray
there was indeed a devil.
For otherwise
who would punish me
for my unforgivable sins?
The ones I flail myself
each day
each night
for more time than anyone
would believe.
Ah. Then I remember
childish laughter and giggles,
warm wet kisses
then tiny hands in mine.
All those fierce little hugs
and there it is.
Memories.
Punishment for my sins
more fiendish than any
mere devil could render.

September 2, 2018
9:11 am
Sitting in front of my storage unit