Mommie JOKES

“Mommie, mommie I’m missing Daddy.”
“Shut up and keep shooting.”

“Mommie, mommie I don’t want to go to France.”
“Shut up and keep swimming.”

“Mommie, mommie I hate my brother’s guts.”
“Be quiet and eat the potatoes instead.”

“Mommie mommie there’s a man at the door with a nasty look on his face.”
“Tell him you’ve already got one.”

“Mommie, mommie John says that I’ve got a big head.”
“Don’t listen to him. Now run down the shops and get me 5lb of potatoes in your hat.”

“Mommie, mommie John says that I’m a vampire.”
“Don’t listen to him and drink your soup before it clots.”

“Mommie, mommie I’ve broken both my legs.”
“Well don’t come running to me!”

“Mommie, mommie, John says I’m a werewolf.”
“Don’t listen to him and comb your face.”

“Mommie, mommie can we get a waste disposal?”
“Shut up and keep eating.”

“Mommie, mommie, daddy’s gone out.”
“I’ll get some more petrol.”

“Mommie, mommie, now that I’m sixteen can I start wearing lipstick and high heels?”
“Certainly not Ralph.”

“Mommie, mommie, my sister’s spoiled.
“Don’t be silly, that’s just the perfume she wears.”

“Mommie, mommie can I have another glass of water?”
“But that’s the tenth one tonight.”
“Yes but the baby’s room is still on fire.”

“Mommie, mommie, I’ve written a novel to be published after I’m dead.”
“I can’t wait to read it.