No One to Tell

The word came today

That an old friend had died

A special one.

Someone, that all who knew me


Back then,

Would understand the pain

Her going would bring.

I reached for the phone

For I thought that I needed to tell . . .

But she’s gone, too.

And I should tell . . .

I hung up the phone

For there’s no one left to tell.

No one who shared that history with me.

No one who would understand.

How the news caught in my throat

And filled my eyes with tears.

I remembered when she found my first grey hair

While rolling around the floor

In front of her fireplace

Listening to the Beatles

Sing “Things We Said Today”,

Our song through the years.

And I thought of the time

I introduced her to someone.

Who, as he left

CookieBowmanBackSide1964Said quietly to me,

“That is the most beautiful woman

I have ever seen”.

And I thought of the years apart,

The miles,

Of how we wrote everyday

For more years than I can remember.

Deep in our teenage puppy love

That grew to so much more.

My oldest friend

Of now 45 ½ years.

The one who put “favorite”

In my favorite summer, 1964.

And I wanted to call

And say “Cookie died”.

But to whom?

Who now?

For I have made the same call

In turn

About each of the one I want to tell.

And there is no one left

To remember how I hitch-hiked

Half-way across the country to see her

Or how years later

We still found time to spend together

Now and then.

No one remembers she was my first love.

Lord, Lord,

It seems that there should be someone

To tell

Someone to share the news

Who would understand

The tears in my eyes

And pain.

Pain now for her

And pain for those with whom

I would have shared the news.


Michael Mathews

August 7th 2009

12:23 PM

 1st letter from her was dated Feb 10, 1964

Now listening to the Beatles . . .



This is how all of it started today. 

—–Original Message—–

From: Cindy Lee

Sent: Friday, August 07, 2009 09:36 AM


Subject: Sad news; sad time

I would have called but I don’t have the number anymore.  The one I tried is disconnected 409.767.9299.

I would rather have talked to you about this but maybe this is best. I have news, sad news, and a message.

The message first from Cookie.  I have a letter for you but she said to call you first and give you the news.  (Neither of us has your address).  She said to find that old Beatle song, you’d know the one.  And mix up some big gin concoction.  And just for a moment think about that first kiss on the bridge and rolling around her mother’s floor in front of the fireplace listening to that song. She said take a minute and know that she loves you to this very day, her oldest friend.  She said to tell you there is more in the letter but to she wanted you to know now.   I’m so sorry, Michael, but she died.  She didn’t want anyone to know she was sick.  I don’t know what else to say.  I just can’t cry anymore.  Call me when you get a chance.  The number is the same.

Love, Cindy